Tachions to the Rescue

Tachyon protectors

Are you afraid of electricity,   EMF's, parking meters , gas, running water, beer on tap???  Do you think Tesla  is a car???    Your  last  science  class was in middle school?     You need help!  Tachyon protector to the rescue!  This little device looks like a tiny  75 cent pill bottle, but oh no!  This little bomb shell contains enough tachyons to protect you, your cat, and your kirilian aura!  

Imagine!   A field of tachyons  positioned around you like a field of corn, nursing and protecting you.  Put it on,  stuff it in your ear (for more complete protection), and feel SAFE.

Only 75 cents at your local hardware store, or $295 on line.

Aromatizer

Do you suffer from  EMF pollution, stress, knotty grey belly fat, boils, chronic fatigue, bad breath, demonic fits, and general malaise??

You need aroma therapy in all of it's forms:  skin flush, inhalation, and ingestion.  Yes!  All three forms, drink it, breathe it, and feel it ooze down your skin  .Just add your favorite essential oils or medicinal brandy!  It's attractive, It's functional.  It's for you!

BE GONE SPIRITUAL HITCHHIKERS! WELCOME KIRLIAN AURA

Tired of those nasty spiritual hitchhikers???  Nasty demons tagging along like a sled loaded with 6 foot long zucchini???  With our proprietary 52 volt battery (tucked under the stylish scarf)  and 
our  smudge-grade sage as a smoke, you can be FREEEEE!  See below our surgical grade 52 volt battery, and our surgical grade smudge-joints!

Convenient, comfortable, easily hidden under a scarf or hat.  The  52 volt battery.
Below Our famous Smudgie Cleansing Joints.