The Harmonic Tuner

Everything in your body is driven by tiny vibrating electrons. Invisible! And THEY control your body. They force you to eat that third piece of pie, give people the finger, max out your credit card.
You ask, “What can I do about these invisible uncontrollable frequencies that are ruining my life?????” First,our trained practitioners will study YOUR particular brain.  We hand-craft a set of 3 tuning forks in pure surgical plastic and a singing bowl to be worn daily. They create new frequencies, and shift your brain to a new state of consciousness. You will automatically start doing the right things, naturally. You will be thin, beautiful, focused, kind, attentive, a good listener, etc.  WITH NO EFFORT!

The Turbo Cleanser Weight Loss Approach

Science tells us that toxins create belly fat no matter what you eat.   Toxins from your food, air, chem trails, etc.  are stored in your belly fat and become a  hideous knotty grey mass of blubber. No wonder some of us have difficulty with our bellies. It's NO laughing matter!

Modern technology is making you fat,  and we can use it to make you thin! Remove those toxins from your belly!  Avoid exercise (in fact, avoid movement) and avoid dieting (they move the toxins through your liver). Put all  those scare techniques on hold and watch the Turbo Cleanser®  disolve the fat. Our Turbo Cleanser® ,  with a permanent Colonics-Implant® device will keep the toxins moving right out of your body.
Here's how it works! A hand-crafted vortex  is implanted in your  hair. It connects with your permanent colonic implant (implant effected by licensed  Harmonic Colonic®  practitions only).  Only 1/2 cup of distilled water into the vortex per day and the water will energize and vibrate toxins right on out.  Say good-by to unwanted fat, diets, exercise, and  guilt.
Buyer's guide: if you live north of the equator, please order vortex-Coriolis-North and if you live south of the equator, order vortex-Coriolis-South.

Let the Power of the Pyramids Help You!

The Egyptian culture lasted a long time. Why? Because they harnessed the knowledge of the pyramid.
The ancient Egyptians found out the hard way.  Chem-trails from cubical buildings caused mass depression, illness, and often death - mostly in slaves. The Pharoh's wanted only big box buildings.  And the slaves??? they suffered from, yes,... depression and death. Egyptian slaves  dying!  Aliens brought in the pyramids and.... No more box buildings! Success to all!

We use the power of the pyramid to create a hairstyle that heals. We could list what it does for the you, but it would be quicker to list what it DOES NOT DO FOR YOU. (it will not: add high-lights to your hair or sharpen serrated knives).   It will strengthen your body and mind, align your chakras, increase your sex appeal, renew your hair follicles, and yes, put a razor blade in and it will become sharp!

The Feng Shui or Fogna Sciupare

Feng Shui Hairstyle: This hair cut, if done properly will bring you 108 types of prosperity. Kinds of prosperity you didn't even know exist!!! Start by taking our five element test to assess your similarities with water, metal, styrofoam, fire, and plastic- to produce your own personal Feng Shui map. This will give us your best the color and length .  Each individual hair's length, yes,  VERY important.   Every hair must be of identical length.
This hairstyle promises a balanced you and harmony. Beware!  There are fakes out there.   The secret??  5,220 years ago extra-terrestrial females from Natsayah landed on earth. They trained a few people in   “Fogna Sciupare”.  This system has been passed down and  is now known as Feng Shui.   We have the original tablets and the female priestesses. Don't be taken in by imitations. Get the real source of harmony and energy and balance from the mother of Feng shui.